Corporate shows scare me for multiple reasons, though the cash and the non-show working conditions are so often sublime (I love to travel and stay at high-end hotels and resorts).
Challenge number one: The client usually wants the show to include improvised hilarity “customized” to the company, the president of the company, the product, and so on. This kind of thing is of course a big selling point for some comedy troupes, but in my experience the customizations fail a lot. Not always, but often. The performers may do the best anyone could, but the audience members may not want to hear about their jobs or risk laughing when their superiors are the butt of a joke. I always wish we could simply do a funny show for the people, and never mind what those people do for a living… unless they bring it up in the form of an audience suggestion. Just my opinion.
Next worrisome issue: The sequence of events at a corporate show can be dangerous territory for the fate of a show. Here are some well worn examples.
1. After drinks, the evening may proceed to this bad situation: “show-during-dinner.” (As we all know, dinner is for socializing and savoring the food, not focusing on the comedy show.)
2. Or…better but not great: “show-during-dessert-and-coffee.” (Really, it’s time for a nap; that’s why they urgently need caffeine and sugar, which will not yet have taken effect at show time.)
3. Or…very, very bad news: “show-after-drinks-dinner-coffee-dessert-and-presentation-of-awards.” (It’s now bedtime, not show time.)
This brings me to what happened in Miami.
“Cabaretto” was booked to do a musical improv show, featuring Shulie Cowen, Michael Sherman, Joe Whyte, and me at the baby grand. Ten grand for the show and quite a lovely time had by all of us insofar as the hotel, the town, the restaurants, the ocean and the pool. The show was no picnic, and not because we had a bad show! We had a very respectable show…which we had to perform for an exhausted, fidgety, butt-numb audience that had been in their seats for way too long.
It didn’t help at all that I was a pushover with the client, who had the last-minute idea that perhaps I could provide piano accompaniment for the award presentations – just a little music as each recipient approached the stage, got their pix taken with the president, and then made their way back to their seats.
Eager to please, I said “Sure, of course!” The client didn’t mention that there were about 30 awards to be presented. Need I say more? By time for the entertainment – the musical improv comedy of “Cabaretto,” the audience had heard – what, 60-ish intro/outros on solo piano? Consequently, “Cabaretto” had to bound onstage to my next snappy piano fanfare, which brought Precisely Zero brand-new audio energy to the room. (If I’m ever similarly asked to accompany an awards presentation, my response will be, “Sorry. Read the contract.” Or maybe I’ll soften it: “I have a bad back and can only be at the piano for the length of our show, max. I’d hate to have to sue you for medical expenses, pain and suffering.”)
Now that I’ve bemoaned what happened, it’s time to present a theoretical solution. “If I were a professional event planner, how might I envision an evening that includes corporate entertainment?” Like this:
1. 30-minute cocktail reception and snacks in the beautiful lobby area outside the ballroom. Chop-chop! A half hour is plenty of time to get a drink, schmooze around a bit and grab one more drink to take along into the big event.
2. Right on schedule, bring the audience in to be seated at the tables where they will eventually dine. (There can be no bars open in the back of the room, and no table service. Not a waiter in sight. There can be waters and place settings on the tables, but no bread and no preset salads. There must be rather loud house music playing, specifically selected as pre-show fare. The room should feel like a party rather than a hushed, formal restaurant.)
3. Just as soon as the people are seated, “Go!” Cue the president to take the stage and introduce the entertainment in 10 seconds or less! And on with the fast and funny show.
4. Now comes dinner, dessert, and how about dancing to live music? (If there’s an awards presentation it should take place at a grand breakfast, during and throughout the breakfast itself.)
To me this sounds like a good time for everyone, including the performers.
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